Recording Surface

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Sadness

Unlike some, I’ve never thought of Maurice Sendak’s Where the Wild Things Are as escapist fare. In fact, it’s always produced quite a bit of anxiety for me: parents who punish for things as harmless as chasing the cat and saying “I’ll eat you up” to your mother; visiting a place where the creatures do exactly what they’re told to do; even the wild rumpus was kind of ambiguous in that its joy was completely confined to the moment of the rumpus and didn’t carry over into the rest of the story. I’ve also never really thought of it as a book about escape, since when Max gets back to his room, everything is the same as when he left, and his food’s still warm — despite his epic journey he has escaped his existence for just a few minutes. The emotional timbre of the story is as muted and melancholic as its accompanying art.

 

The movie provides a contemporary back story but retains the book’s affective register: the compassionate, cool, hip, hot single mother who is too tolerant to actually send Max to his room without supper, and the monsters, who aren’t scary ogres but gloomy characters who openly express their depression and dissatisfaction and who aren’t as quick to capitulate to Max’s commands. While Sendak’s book was written when expressions and feelings were more strictly controlled and authority was rigid, the movie is about a time when everyone talks about their feelings and hierarchies aren’t as sharp. But despite these advances, melancholy pervades. Neither cool moms nor leveled hierarchies nor emotional honesty have been enough to overcome the sadness.

Filed under: Kids, Lines of Flight, Parenting

Personism

Yesterday we had a lovely wander of the university — including the inside of Charlie Wittman’s tower, where I’d never actually been before — and it’s small libraries, particularly the ones that look like they used to be boilerrooms and that have tape on the floor leading you in and out since there’s no way to orient yourself, no windows or even walls, just monotonous stacks of books. Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Minor, Parenting, Subjectivity

Meme: Passion Quilt

S0metim3s has tagged me with the passion-quilt meme, the instructions of which are as follows: Post a picture or make/take/create your own that captures what YOU are most passionate for students to learn about. Give your picture a short title. Title your blog post “Meme: Passion Quilt.” Link back to the blog entry which tagged you. Include links to 5 (or more) educators. Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Kids, Parenting

Freud is a motherfucker

My son is starting to, um, “notice” things. And yes, even though I mock it, the hesitation is there for me–the currents of Catholicism and other modes of sexual repression run strong and the habit of believing that children should not think of such things, that they are asexual and need to be denied certain realities, dies hard. Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Kids, Parenting

Bodies

I almost never remember my dreams, but last night I had one that not only forced me to wake up but is still haunting me late the next afternoon. It was very short, but very disturbing. Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Parenting, War

Family affairs

One of the unfortunate aspects of having children is that it’s occasionally necessary to consult parenting books. We do this during crisis: when real-life situations overwhelm our confidence in our parenting skills or when one of the kids reaches a developmental turning point. Reading these books is usually a dreadful experience, as they tend toward clinical enumeration of developmental milestones, New Age solipsism, or feel-good humanism. Despite their philosophical leanings, the point of all of them, stated or not, is to supply parents the tools needed to (micro)manage and control their children, ensuring their docility and obedience. Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Economy, Parenting

Tribulations

Two recent blog posts on the agony of realizing your kids have to move in the world themselves and that you have to let them, from Kim Dot Dammit Live and Woman of Color.

Filed under: Parenting

Daily affirmation

Antipopper makes this parent feel better about what his sometimes-too-permissive child-rearing.

I’m always impressed when children calmly decide when stuff might be “too much” for them.

Over the holidays, I made a little horror film with some young kids. We were just getting ready for the bit where the monster rises from the depths when Thomas, the youngest (who’s three), stopped everyone and announced that “this is too scary for me.” He then affably left the room so the rest of us could continue.

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Children who are patronised don’t stand a chance.

At a party a few months ago, our hosts put on Shaun of the Dead. I was a little skittish about having the kids watch it because I wasn’t sure of how violent/scary it was, but I really wanted to see it, so we stayed. About fifteen minutes in, after the first head was pulled off, my almost-three-year-old, who was sitting on my lap, turned to me and said calmly but with a hint of panic, “Papa, I don’t want to watch this.” We of course left immediately, and everyone at the party was impressed with her lack of fear expressing what she wanted, as were my partner and I. We also felt pride in ourselves for not preemptively deciding what she could handle and for having allowed her the space to feel comfortable expressing her desires.

Patronizing parents don’t stand a chance either.

Filed under: Kids, Parenting

Return

Sorry, dear readers, for the ten-day absence from posting. I have been traveling with the kids, seeing relatives, and going to my father’s retirement party (lucky bastard), all of which has left me too exhausted to do any writing. But now I’m back home and rested, and more-regular posting will resume starting today. Thanks for your understanding.

Filed under: Parenting

Sprouting banality

There’s a great ad running on PBS for the preschool cable channel Sprout, PBS’s private, for-profit venture with Comcast. In it, an international governing body, obviously the UN, debates some burning issue. Representatives of several nations are bickering in the way that nations do. As the seemingly interminable argument plods on, an innocent, doe-eyed young man of about eight who is sitting in the gallery clears his throat and pronounces, with great preciousness and common sense: “Excuse me. The more we get together, the happier we will be.” The members of the body all nod and moan their approval. Cut to a pleased parent watching the proceedings on television with her enraptured preschool-aged child.

It’s total horseshit, of course, even aside from the maudlin “message.” Anyone who knows preschoolers knows they are wonderfully free of anything resembling common sense. Ask one of them a simple question and you’ll usually receive a convoluted, nonsensical answer. The boy’s axiom about happiness would prompt most of them (or at least my five-year-old) to cry, “That’s boring!” and turn off the tv. Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Kids, Parenting